Hello.

I wonder if anyone is really interested in reading my opinion come rambling posts?
It's not like I don't share my views with people anyway.
I doubt many people will keep reading this as its just thoughts free written when I feel like it. Yet still I feel compelled to do it.

I am reading a book about writing at the moment. It's called Writing Down the Bones. People say its one of the greatest books ever written on the subject of writing.
Yet I am having issue with it.
You see a lot of it is very badly written. Poor grammar and free flowing thought not unlike my blog here. Surely writing needs some structure? I don't want to think of writing as another bollock fest like Art. There are of course places and a need to free the mind and hand or hands from constriction when writing creatively. A lot of self doubt and anxiety needs to be removed from the forefront of our minds for us to access whatever it is we really want to be writing about.
Yet to teach these techniques in a free flow style is quite confusing and disconcerting. Its as if the author has no self control over what comes out the pen.
Again a little like me.
When starting my degree I was looking for some structure and some technique based teaching. All we ever got was the instruction to be free. No idea of how to do it just be free and feel your way through the work.
Fuck off.
I feel my way through most of my life I would at least like some advice with how to draw, paint, and write well.
Perhaps other people have a natural talent that I lack and can simple be free and create beautiful poetry and epic novels.
Perhaps Da Vinci actually painted all his master-works with his face and a bucket of rats. Though I doubt it.
He did more research than anyone would be willing to delve into these days. Though I suppose the necessity to open dead bodies up to look at the muscles and organs has diminished rather. Yet these discoveries are not taught in any art school I have been to.

Being told to be open honest and free is all well and good but we were told this in junior school. Does teaching never move on from this? Is it the goal of every creative person to simply be free of conformity and standards.
I personally like my work to be judged. Not on an individual self serving basis but against other works in the same genre. I don't need other people to tell me I'm great just for being me. I would like them to know what they are looking for and perhaps find small amounts of it in my work.

I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just frustrated with an idea for a project and my stupid writing book. Perhaps it gets better towards the end.

Fuck you very much.