Words; words.

I am still finding it hard to post. I think I am expecting far too much from myself. Rather than being happy with a short anecdote badly written containing a happy dog and a disgruntled Arab as a lot of people may be; I am pressuring myself for more. Looking at my sub title though I feel I should just tap away and hope for the best. So with this in mind I shall begin.

Firstly I would like to briefly mention two programs I have watched. Both live comedy performances.
Bill Baileys' "Tinsel Worm" and Tim Minchin Live.
The former I was hoping to be pretty good. As it happens I found it not only dull and unfunny but offensive too.
 "Bill Bailey offensive!" you all cry. And I reply simply "Yes"
You see our Bill seems to think that self harm is funny. That it is an act performed by teenage girls who listen to Marilyn Manson  in an attempt to look cool and special. This kind of ignorance just makes him look like more of a tit than he clearly already is. Without a basic level of understanding of your topic making fun of whatever it may be is a stab in the dark. Equally ill informed people may laugh along with you; however anyone with a sense of compassion would approach such a subject in a less "kick the door down and piss in everyone's faces" style as Mr Baileys offensive song. Add to that he has to resort to saying "Badger" or "Weasel" when he feels his audience is drifting off. Oh and neatly rounding myself up he is a crap musician. If anyone tells you he's good they cant play for shit.
Now to Mr Minchin: a performer with Musical talent, sensitivity, intelligence and above all; who is actually funny.
I will say that he would be considered more offensive by many due to his language; but if you are among those who think every word has its place then I think you will be OK. I don't want to say too much as I would like you to see the program if you have not already. I think perhaps I can relate to a comedian that takes his own issues and thoughts onto the stage rather than taking the piss out of depressed teenagers.

Another thing I would like to talk about is a wonderful book: "Eats Shoots & Leaves" A book about punctuation and language.
I didn't go to school. Not like some motorcycle riding greaser out to stick it to the man; but like a sickly duck with no friends. I missed out on a lot of information I would most likely have found terribly boring at the time.
Coming to it latter in life could well be a blessing in disguise. A disguise shaped like a moron.
Language I'm sure you will agree is pretty important. The spoken or written word is a powerful commodity; and though both helped and hindered by the digital revolution I hope can remain as it once was: a tool used to clearly show an idea, story, emotion or whatever. My worry is the decline in spelling and punctuation on social networking sites. That makes me sound like a crunt. On facebook, on fucking facebook. The text speak evolving out of lazy or busy people rushing information into mobile phones had no place on the internet.
Look at your keyboard. It has every fucking letter you could ever need right there!
Spelling mistakes and typing errors don't bother me at all. I have some pretty poor spelling and do rely on the spell check in Firefox to help me out (It doesn't  think Firefox is a word, ha ha.) when I make a mistake.
Punctuation is almost dead on the internet. Even the capital letter is often absent. These things are important.
The best thing to do is read the book as I am probably simply repeating a lot of it here as I have just read it.
One thing the book hits on briefly but I would like to take a bit further is the emoticon. You know? This :-)
I have used them in the past but am making a stand here. If I can't express my feeling with words and without resorting to a little picture of a sideways face then I have no business sharing my thoughts in the first place.
The first person to use punctuation marks to make a little face must have felt pretty clever. And you know? The Egyptians probably felt the same way about hieroglyphics. But we moved on. We now have a plethora of words and marks to accurately describe almost anything you could care to imagine. So don't be lazy. Express yourself. Use your real face for smiling. Don't drag the Egyptians out of the ground and parade them about on Facebook.

I need to paragraph more I know. Also I need to use semicolons more.

Happy new year all.

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